Obamawaggoning

This week's election in the US was thrilling. We've seen a lot of very unpleasant history being made in recent years, so it was thrilling to see the explosion of optimism that blasted across the world from Washington on Tuesday.

So it's rather depressing and wearying to see that not even this historic moment is beyond the grasp of those looking for any handy bandwagon to hitch their brand to. Since the election I've had two emails from organisations hoping to piggyback on Obama's success.

The first came from Network Solutions:



The next, from Mad.co.uk:


No links, because they don't deserve them. Does this sort of thing convince anyone?

How to make your emails even colder and more impersonal!

I just received an email from the new CEO of Network Solutions, through whom I own a couple of URLs*. Look:







Do you know, I have a feeling I wasn't the only one to get this email. Of course, I'd know that anyway, whatever it said. But you'd think a large company, especially one that deals exclusively in online services, could at least address me personally. And it would help if the first sentence wasn't a paragraph long, and deathly.

That phrase, 'delighted to make your acquaintance'. It's almost the opposite of the impersonal salutation. This time, the language is absurdly over personal. He's not making my acquaintance. (He's proved that by addressing me as 'Network Solutions(R) Customers'.) And what an old-fashioned sort of a phrase. I'm often a sucker for the old fashioned, but it just sounds stiff and awkward here.

Then, 'the opportunity to serve your online business needs'. It's like a radio ad I heard recently for a local builder: 'for all your building needs'. It's so vague, so lazy, so impersonal.

I'm sure W. Roy Dunbar (for that is the gentleman's name, believe it or not) is a very nice chap, and more than capable of serving my online business needs, such as they are. But this email just makes him and his company sound flat, formal, out of touch and out of date. Which is not good.

* By the way, the URLs, should you wish to buy any of them, are chattamo.com, chattamix.com and hooplo.com. One day, one of them will make my fortune. Probably.